Can it be? A hint of patriotism while abroad?

Happy 4th of July!!!


Hot shit.

Just wrapped up special happy hour at the office. Annika and I, the resident US Americans here at Teilingerstraat 126 teamed up to bring some happy US patriotism / festivities to the office. :)

First of all, its a wonder we got everyone away from their desks to be legitimately happy for so long!! Especially the Friday before planning week! :) But yes, in general, it was a really weird and cool experience, from the planning to delivery. We were both major rookies at being PROUD AMERICAN in a GLOBAL ENVIRONMENT. The thing is, all US Americans are proud of the USofA.... even if we're rowdy and scream damn the man... we're totally conscious that our ability to learn how to scream damn the man came from our education, society, etc. Its just totally strange to do so in front of anyone NOT American, for pretty obvious reasons.

We started off with a rendition of the star spangled banner, like all good American festivities start, then did introductions of ourselves... We acknowledged that yes, we are American, and then shared the stories of our families immigrating to the US, the why, and some proud facts about our home states. :) Annika jokingly compared it to COMING OUT, which is, from the real sense of the word and not limiting it to its normal counterpart of sexuality, quite accurate. I thought this was a really important component of the "program" since sometimes in the great multi culti environment that is AIESEC, we, albeit sub-consciously, begin to conveniently forget where people are from.

Then we did a fun US trivia game which both included "Americans you love to love" and "Americans you love to hate"... and then we showcased our best attempt at rounding up some typical treats: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, oreos, chips, chocolate chip cookies, and apple pie with ice cream. Not too shabby. Sadly, but not surprisingly there was no American beer to be found. Haha. And then we played happy great music born and bred in the US, like jazz, rap, mo-town, and of course, COUNTRY. And played the beautiful Spanish version of the Star Spangled Banner.

So yes. It was awesome, and in some ways, really a dream I had had, coming true, to actually have a celebration for independence day while abroad and not feel sheepish. And I guess, more significantly, I felt an integrity gap narrowed - bringing something out of the darkness and into the light... alignment with my approach to social justice. Giving voice.

Quote from Vagina Monologues is illustrative of this method:

"... to speak of them out loud, to speak of their hunger and pain and loneliness and humour, to make them visible so that they can not be ravaged in the dark without great consequence."

Better than Nutella by the Spoonful?

Yes, for this unclassy American (redundant, yes, I know), I am enjoying something even better than nutella by the spoonful! Wait, no, disclaimer: DO NOT JUDGE ME. Yes... so... its... chocolate fondue by the spoonful! IN MY DEFENSE I ate it mostly with fruits and then just the last bits that were hard to scrape out I had with a spoon. Hmph. I am not an ANIMAL. :)

Overall high spirits. Have the apartment to myself tonight. Went to try to finally go to a boxing class at David Lloyd's, after approximately ONE YEAR of wanting to try it, but what are the odds: no one else showed up for the class and it was canceled. Not to be disparaged, I strapped on my roller blades and enjoyed a different first than my first boxing night: first time buying groceries on roller blades. YESSS! OH YESSSSS! OH MY CRAP IS THAT FUN. And of course, I bought three bottles of coolers for our self-made ladies night coming for when SATC finally hits the Netherlands. So I skated home smirking as the bottles jingled in my backpack.

Got home just in time to watch the Dutchies score two sexy shots within 10 minutes in my first time watching soccer on my own - and it made sense! And that is when I proceeded to have some fondue, which I prepared all on my own. Not hard, but nevertheless SIGNIFICANT. Yus.

Before heading out I for *THE grocery trip*, I had spoken with Brittany about how its kind of sad to be roller blading alone, only to be subsequently having fondue alone... seems worse than drinking alone! Haha. But it is a surprisingly wonderful thrill; been a while since I had so many new experiences on my own (besides traveling itself, or course). Its special and different when its in your own home... the newness in a less new place feels extra snuggly happies. Its a comfortable new. Purr.

And to add... happiness... to health?: I saw Stas and Mess and Shelly and Bryan last week (go Canada!) And THE HBIZZ is almost here! WEEEES! Just the thought of hosting Helene here makes me feel even more at home. And it means I'll see even more new things of Rotterdam - about time. Sarah here last weekend catalyzed loads of new sights around Holland. Hurrah for visiting friends forcing you to get off your bum and be a tourist.

Came home from work during lunch to cook classic grilled cheese and tomato soup: a) yum, and b) yay cooking and not buying... very rare for a Teilingerstraat 126 lunch!

A day of a incessant simple pleasures... June 9: I heart you.

Living the Questions

Haha, random note. Let's see if I can write a post without "dot dot dot" in it! ;p

Right, so we just had our team days here in the office. Strange time in our lives (almost just used dot dot dot!) Us directors are just getting back to the office, the latest ones just at the end of this last week, and already it is time to speak about transition and the new year ahead. We ask ourselves, "how are you feeling about the year ending" and yet, it has not really sunk in. It is just like when I was selected as director - It didn't really sink in until 3 months later as I sat in Teilingerstraat 126.

During the first day of team days we did a lot of sharing and reconnecting. As an already obscenely analytical person, this was a bit of a mind fuck for me to be given special extra time to reflect. ;p I came to some interesting conclusions about this year for me, and the indications of what that means about me in general.

I now see that as I wrapped up my year in Canada last year, I was accepting concepts like "I am a not perfect. I cannot give happiness." Extremely valuable learnings and personal development. I realized that in this year the acceptance of my imperfection was not a real issue, rather, walking through my own darkness - acceptance not only of imperfection, but of less lovely things. And learning to not hate these parts of myself.

Another theme from my year was the seemingly paradox of living an extremely challenging, intense, transformative experience, meanwhile feeling incessantly emotionally shallow. That is, it was so intense, that in order to cope, I would take moments of selfishness, self-pity, denial, etc. to give myself the space to recooperate, heal, and be ready for the next intensity. From this I was reminded I did not take this opportunity to have FUN, per say, but to grow. I saw the distinction in my mind between happiness meaning a feeling of enjoyment, but rather, a feeling of fulfillment. And having that closer clarity to my view of happiness, albeit seemingly obvious, was very powerful for me. Its not easy accepting that, yes this year was enjoyable at many many times, but at large, it wasn't incessantly enjoyable, but definitely always fulfilling.

Many questions on my mind; that seems to be the theme of the team right now: so many questions!!! Many are focused around bringing consciousness to my choices; to not misconstrue living a passionate life with jumping through hoops for self-validation. Fine lines? Same thing with different perspective? Let's see.

No creative title... rock.

March 20, 2008

Wow. Just really enjoying this conference. For the last three years, as MC and AI, always being in a conference management role, preparing sessions and being stressed about the delivery. Somehow this conference feels special… different: the atmosphere, the conversations, the energy are keeping me present, connecting, enjoying, learning so many personal and practical things.

Today in the morning I had the opportunity to reflect on and express my stand. I was grateful for this time. Remembering the feelings that charge through your body when you are sharing what you care the most about with others – nervousness,.. excitement. Realizing that I haven’t expressed my full stand to others in some time… while I was speaking I was remembering all of who I am and want to be, and how important it is to share this more regularly! I nice reminder of how cool it is to be in a learning environment with others also obsessed with personal development …

While the day was in some ways also more functional, I am feeling inspired just thinking about the impact this APXPros and LDS family will have when their beautiful individual stands are realized, and when they continue to create relevant, needed change in our local communities around specific issues.

I wonder how everyone else is doing. If they have the same feelings of inner peace and empowerment that I am feeling. And I wonder what my next “aha” moment will be. :D

And the beat goes on....

March 18, 2008.

Yay! Sooooo excited about Japanese Night tonight! No, wait, focus: where am I right now and how am I feeling? Hm… A feeling a sense of peace and comfort, of being home. I have this sense of familiarity being here with the AP family at this point in my journey… it feels so different from my feelings of awe and wonder of my first months of this experience, everything always feeling new and surprising.

In terms of the experience of this conference for the whole, it is just beginning. Yesterday definitely felt like that honeymoon period of these new relationships we are forming. A constant sense of euphoria. Today we have begun heavier sessions… bringing us to the dual role of this conference to live 2010 and inspiring us individually to be who we are meant to be.

I see this emerging. Today during a session, Florent from China had shared while reviewing exchange data, that usually he approaches the MC for questions, but actually with this knowledge, he himself, and his LC, “can invent the future” they want for their community. I had forgotten how interlinked these two things are 2010 and rockstar individuals. Working towards this 2010 vision empowering individuals and inspired as the only way to realize our vision. Wow. It’s so simple! Okay… its been an intense day, that is enough deep thoughts for now… time for some evening fun!

A new journey begins... weeeeee!

Day one of AP XPros and LDS. I cannot believe it is here and has begun! For the last week, challenges sleeping – my mind racing with excitement, anxiety, visions of the conference every night as I fall asleep, every morning from the moment I wake up.

We have all come so far …this year! – awakening awareness and belief in our ability to shine as a GN and as individuals. As a family, we are working together more. In regards to performance we are breaking records. Still… there is something clouding this beautiful reality…

The moments of… shall we call it, shame, of spending so much time in a non-profit organization, a foreign concept to our parents in this environment. The lack of people willing to run for full-time MC positions because there is it seems to lack prestige in the eyes of others, or because we are not positioned strongly enough in our market. Why can’t we just be proud of who we are and what we believe in?

I have so many ideas and images of where we are and where we are going, but I look forward to the image being crafted and built together in the coming days. What will the next days bring? What will emerge? What future will we invent?

I don’t know... but I know I am grateful for this moment, for this opportunity I have as a member in AIESEC, to challenge myself, and others…to be able to reflect on and embody my purpose.

ALL UP IN THAILAND'S GRILLLLLL!

Straight no chaser...

• 5:30am, Sydney - wake and pack
• 7:00am, airport - checked in and panic b/c they tell me I must find way to print my itinerary for out of Bangkok or else I won't be allowed in... run around airport for an hour until I give up and show up in Thailand and don't need it... wtf.
• 8 hours later... Arrive in Thailand...
  
• 1hr in line for immigration
• luggage missing... slight panic attack... was apparently taken off since I took so long in line for immigration...
• YAY FOR LC AU picking me up!! Fun chat... then we get lost and are driving in circles for 1.5 hrs... :)
  
• Arrive at conference site... have faci team meeting, and an hour later...
  
• CONFERENCE STARTS!!! I meet all the EBs from all the LCs and the MC!!! (Picture of the crazy people above!!)
  

How is that for day one in Thailand!!??!!! Hehehe... just another day in the life. Aiyo! :D

Sydney...oy!

OY = pain in the ass in terms of WHERE TO START!! ;p Was wicked-awesome... I'm sorry, need to just go to a bullet format, its that much... :D

HIGHLIGHTS....

• DAY 0: picked up at the airport by a welcome crew, went straight to MC flat for a happy dinner! This was just the beginning of the hospitality and good times in Sydney...
  
• DAY 1John and I wake up early for a quick swim AT THE BEACH before getting coffee and him dropping me off at the MC office!!!
• DAY 1: Meet the MC! We had a one hour official GET TO KNOW YOU session with MC team with games all planned! AHAHHAH! Yay for ANGRY SWEDISH MAN tournaments! Too fun!
• DAY 1: We drop everything at 4:30pm for the daily does of WI DANCING random but GOOD! :)
  
• Day 2: Lunch: FREE MEAT PIE! Yayyyy! My first one ever and the owner said it was on the house! :) (Kate and Anne shocked that Sydney people are nice... ahaha.)
  
• Day 4: Belly dancing with Kristi - yayyyy for feeling at home and able to just go to a course and have fun!
  
• Day 5: BUSH WALK: hiking with John - beautiful sights and super grateful for the company!
• Day 6: Bollywood CLASSIC and German Pub! AHAHAH!
  
• And so on and so forth... there was also TONS of sight seeing with Nikita (obscene how much we managed to do in just a few days!!!). Nikita even brought us Kiwi chocolate...just one of the MANY unhealthy but delicious treats we had throughout the time... yayyyy.
  

And of course, to end off my visit, what did we do? Got fat on pizza and watched an EXTRA cheesy bollywood until I was about to fall asleep, and headed home part way through. CLASSIC. :) Hehehheehhehehe. And of course, to wrap it all up, John's father woke up at at 6:00am just to drive me to the airport.

Just wowwwwwwwwww. Thanks ya'll for making me feel at once like royalty and like one of the family all at the same time. Life, FOR THE WIN.

Belated Blogging! :) SIPOOOOO!

Yay for playing KETCHUP... omg...I'm a loser. :)

Yes, Singapore was the coolest stopover EVER!!! I was there for just 2 days, Friday and Saturday, before arriving in Sydney.

First off, I would just like to say, Jean-Nic is one of the most thoughtful friends EVER. Being a former "director"/RVP in Canada, he knew that I must be exhausted and want some comfort at this point, nearly a month on the road... so HAHAHA - we went straight to McDonalds to binge together as soon as I arrived! :D Then we went home to his cool big apartment, where he had already bought nutella/peanut butter/bananas for breakfast the next morning, and bought new sheets and a towel for me to stay in his room while he took the couch! OBSCENELY GENEROUS!!!! AIYOOO! So much appreciated. THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Was really cool catching up with old friends in Singapore... what an intersection of my past!!

• Dave, former LCP I worked with in Canada, who rooms with JN now... wtf...
• Amy!!! Former MCP with me, and my roomie from IC Agra! :) YAYYY!
• Roi/Dre/Tiro - MC Canada, what!
  

Anddd I got to see the new AIESEC SINGAPORE AND AIESEC ASIA PACIFIC GN BOARD OFFICE!! HURRAH! Exciting stuffffs! What else... Oh and I had a another slumber party with Sharon. We are exciting people. We do crazy stuff on weekends... let me tell you! AHHAHA. Yay for sitting at home and being couch potatoes! Perfect!!

Picture: Jean Nic, Amy, Sharon and I... all from different parts of my life but now all friends! :) The connections in AIESEC never stop amazing me...
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Making HEROES Happen!!!

*** Tried posting this on AI blog but something is FUNKY there so I'll... just post it here for now!!!***

Greetings from Bangkok! Things are rocking out in Asia Pacific. I’ve been learning loads…

The Superficial/Snapshot Overview: I am heading into my 6th week on the road... just arrived in smiling Thailand. :) Have spent time Japan, Malaysia, Australia... with quick stops in Hong Kong and Singapore. Also met with the MCPs from New Zealand, India, Vietnam, and Indonesia tooo!

The Slightly Less Superficial Overview: Yeah. I am a this point where trying to capture the last 6 weeks in a “post” is, without questin, impossible. So, I’ll just reflect on one highlight from my time with my new family…

HEROES 2007, Malaysia

About 3 weeks ago, 60 delegates gathered from 12 countries/territories in Malaysia at a HEROES 2007 – its first year as an OFFICIAL AP GN CONFERENCE!!! .

Personally it was a thrill, this was my first conference in the AP GN! Sharon helped me through adapting to the AP conference culture, which is really different from my Canadian and other international experiences. Dances were MUCH more complicated (I was SO out of my league… sad, really). Evening activities were comfortably and happily dry and … scary (murderous Malaysians!! ;p) Sugar writing was an extremely disciplines and serious endeavor.

Overall I was honoured to facilitate with my entire AP GN Board (Rina's baby was born and soooo beautifully!! ;p) and Sandy, and our chair was unspeakable inspiring – thanks Janne! And by the end of the conference, we were all feeling empowered, proud (especially of the 25 matches and 15 future exchanges via LC partnerships set up, 40 exchanges with 60 delegates!?!??!), and just a little bit more… heroic.

Want to see the HEROES HEROES? Check it out:

(NOTE: Translation of clip, since its blurry: "HEY AIESEC! We're Making HEROES Happen!!" Followed by a stunning, beautiful cheer that may resemble a certain WENA cheer, but actually mirrors a Canadian cheer, of which the former MCP was happy to bestow... hehehehhehehe.)

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

My experience in Malaysia was reflective of the culture: diverse and full (of food! :)) Not sure how much of it I'll be able to capture, but so I’ll start out slow and just blog my first XP here/there, and definitely one of the most unforgettable...

I was EXTREMELY lucky to arrive in Malaysia just at the beginning of Eid. I arrived on Friday afternoon, and all the festivities were kicking off on Saturday. I managed to weasel my way into joining Csilli in full day excursion to visit Fadli and his family. And when I say family, I MEAN FAMILY! WOWWWWW! In about 1/2 a day I met more of his family (must have been over 80 people) than I have met of my family in MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Really beautiful. We literally just drove to another family's home, shook hands with every one at the home, were fed amazing food, and then were off to the next home! And at one home we had EGYPTIAN DATES! (They are great, and now I understand your explanation, Tamer. :)) We were ESPECIALLY lucky to end off the day at Fadli's home. (See picture below!!) His mother is pretty much KNOWN to be the best cook in the area... enough said. :) And we ended off this day of generosity and love, with his family giving my and Csilli gifts! We were shocked!!! Words can't describe how special the entire day is... and, mind you, HOW EXHAUSTING. Wow. Hahahahaha... when Csilli and I got home her roommates asked about our day, and we described how amazing and tiring it was. They were like, "wow, yeah, you ate all day. Tough day you had..." But seriously, everyone who has "survived" a Raya celebration has agreed, its HARD WORK!!!! :D

I guess I'll also add, as a belated "blogging Ramadan" post, but... not on that blog... but here... or something: I'm really grateful to be experiencing Islam first hand here in Malaysia and also in the Netherlands. As a non-practicing Catholic, religion is.... scary. In the context of the Catholics in my city when I grew up I always felt like there are so many rights and wrongs that I get nervous when I'm around religion firsthand. I always felt like I sneezed at the wrong time I would go to hell. Yeah. I was so nervous for my first sahur with Tamer, Sami, Anisha, and Ahmet... my foggy Catholic mind was like... urm... shall I drink the soup first... does someone drink it first... does it matter if I finish it first... ahhhhh! Yes, its true, I'm a boob. WOOOOOP. Live and learn...

"Just an American Girl in a Tokyo Scene..."

Yes I am so Gwen. ;p J/j...

I'm back on the road! After my year as MCP of Canada, its been a long time since I was out traveling long distances going from meeting to meeting, city to city. For sure before packing my [20kg limit!] bag in Rotterdam, I was definitely nervous about how I would manage, how adaptable I would be, my health, etc. One week into my travels, I'm definitely feeling much better!! :)

TRANSIT. It all started last Friday, when I gave hugs around the AI office and jumped in a cab to the train station at noon. Then train to Amsterdam. Then flight to London. Then flight to Hong Kong. Then one night stopover in Hong Kong! :) Then my flight to Tokyo, with 2hr stopover in Taipei… so SUNDAY NIGHT I finally arrived in Tokyo. As you can imagine, when I arrived my body was so tired from the transit and my jet leg did not wear off until Thursday! Aiyo.

ONE NIGHT IN HK. Good times! Oh the small AIESEC world… Beatrice and Ken came to pick me up at the airport, then brought me to the MC flat where I met up with Stefan (former MCP Denmark), Francois (former MCP France in my term), and went out with Stefan, Thomson (LC Michigan VP Sales 2 generations later) and Martin (former MC CAS and Southern Cone). None of them knew each other, but it was great to see old friends in this quick stop in Hong Kong and FIRST TIME IN HONG KONG!! :)



Fitnass on the road? The first night I stayed with Miwako, an MC member, who picked me up at the airport. I found out soon after meeting Miwako that she does HOT YOGA! YAY! After my 2 years in Canada working 5 floors above a hot yoga studio, it was SO fun to go do hot yoga Monday night, almost exactly the same but… with all instructions in Japanese… J

LIVING IN TOKYO. Most of my time in Tokyo I stayed a Sayako, and LCP’s house. It is such a pleasure. Every morning her mother and I enjoy a healthy breakfast, and sometimes lunch, depending my schedule for the day. Her mother takes such great care of me, and its really a treat after living away from home for the third year!



TOURING. On my first free day during my travels, I woke up rather sick, and worried I would not have the energy to go explore Japan by myself, luckily Sayako’s father came to my rescue! Before having a delish Udon lunch together, he introduced me to his father. We walked out the front door of her house and went to the back, where there was a whole other house, and I felt like I had gone back in time, as the décor was much more traditional Japanese. It was SUCH a pleasure, as this dear grandfather jumped around grabbing snacks and tea to follow me, jumping from sitting on the floor over the kitchen back, back down on the floor, then back up. Incredible. Sitting together with Sayako’s father and grandfather enjoying tea and slowly chatting was easily the BEST PART of my trip so far.

Then Sayako’s father and I head off to take a ship cruise in Tokyo Bay before he left me at the Odaiba spa and to enjoy some hours of pampering alone. The spa was perfect. Wow. Best massage of my life. I’m someone who loves just walking around barefoot and in a robe, so just imagine the whole facilities everyone was walking around in robes and barefoot, eating yummy food, getting massage or sand bath, shopping… welcome to paradise.

NAGOYA HOSPITALITY. After Tokyo I head to Nagoya. GREAT TIMES. I spent one full day there, much slower pace, mostly with all the same people, really making me feel comfortable and meet some friends and connect! We had a great hot pot dinner, then I went to go stay with a 1st year member, Haruka and her friend Yuki: they went out to the convenience store and bought tons of junk food for us – such a fun chill night!



So now I am in chilling in an LC office here in Kyoto. Like almost every LC office I have visited, they have the typical AIESEC cabinets adorned with tons of AIESEC stickers! Eheheh. :) Yup, so that's my first week… looking forward to more fun, friends, and learning.