Identity in Amman

In 10th grade, a friend and I went to a weekend class at Umich about "identity." At that point I didn't know or understand the concept, but it was beginning of a deep love affair with introspection.

An activity we learned which I have done since then, sometimes once a week, sometimes one a year, but every year since then, is simple: you just take a sheet of paper and write "identity" at the top and then start scribbling all the things that are a part of who you are.

Since that time, the next step of this activity I experienced in college was looking at this list and saying: in my current context: which am I most aware of? Least aware? Bring privilege? Limit opportunities? Other are most aware of?

For both, the idea was to get a glimpse of the breadth and depth of things that influence how you behave, your lens of the world, how you are perceived, and how you interact with others. Yes, of course, many of these things are "labels" - cue moans- but consciousness of these social groupings, not defying / ignoring them, is what empowers you to make conscious decisions.

I was running through these exercises this morning and realized this is an interesting way to look at the experience I am living here in Jordan. Nothing too novel or shocking but still helpful to set it out and look at it and I felt more inclined to do this as a means of sharing, as opposed to an overdue what's-new-in-life-what-cool-learnings-and-things-have-I-experienced update. May come, but not today! Toooooo formidable today.

ID List: Abridged list of what came to mind, the interesting thing about this activity is afterwards taking a look at what is *new*, and also the order in which you added things...

• 26*
• intern*
• Jordanian resident
• Jordanian firm employee
• sustainability consultantancy employee
• female/woman
• Chinese
• American (note, not Chinese-American....)
• university graduate
• Gen Y
• able
• vegetarian
• girlfriend
• Christian*
• employed*
• Shmeisani resident*
• Asian
• middle class
• flatmate
• daughter
• sister
• aunt
• cousin
• single (a.k.a. not married)

Simple trends: my new job is a big part of my life, religion usually doesn't come onto my list except as afterthought, not surprisingly (and slightly sadly) my role in my family is less forward after months away, and.... yay that vegetarian isn't toooo salient - its been easy here haha.

Most Aware: with strangers

1. Female. Walking around in the streets alone, of course it is extremely safe in Jordan, but I am most accutely conscious that I'm female. From the gawking and hooting to the attention and care, this piece of my ID is most unavoidable.
2. Middle Class. I realized with my flatmate that in most places we've lived, the classes are mostly separated within the city (ha, or suburb.) We compared to our experiences in NYC or Mexico City even, and you typically do within minutes see the full range of socio-economic classes to this extent. Here it is a relatively small city, so all those differences found in most cities are compressed into fewer square miles.
3. Asian. Of course in other contexts this is something strangers see, but here I am assumed to be from Asia of course (obviously not the case in most place in the states.)
4. American. This is for when I'm in business meetings with strangers whereby whether you are Arab or from the West really affects perceptions and context.

Most Aware: with acquaintances

1. Intern. Obvs.
2. Vegetarian. Well you know, when hanging out, we eat! ;p
3. 26. Friends here range from 30s, twenties, to early twenties/teens. The last few years, my constant daily network didn't have such a range, so here I sense it a lot with regards to maturity and behaviour and my expectations of others.

K, didnt plan to do full activity; thought this bit was interesting.

Ya'allah bye! :)